It seems as though I just disappeared, right? There is always a good reason for those times when it seems I am neglecting my site; when it seems that I’m not doing any updates or articles. Usually, it’s a trial that I’m going through. The Amusement Park that is our world, does not just contain rides like the Carousel, or the Chairlift, where you ride comfortably along, enjoying the breeze and relaxing.
You see, I’m not the big adventurer. I’m pretty content in my little world. My preference is to feel more like I’m flying blithely through life. Even if I stumble a bit, I’m usually pretty confident I won’t fall. After all, isn’t faith like that? You know that you can weather the storms because You are in the palm of his hand. My slogan is “What me worry?” I’ve never felt severely threatened in any way, because as I always say, God‘s got me…got us, my son included.
Usually, my walk is more like the Ferris wheel. I go up, reach a nice pinnacle; coast for a while and enjoy the view, and then slowly descend into whatever the next test or trial is. Most of the time, despite the trials, my life’s ride feels like the Star Flyer, where God and I are just sailing on a breeze. I think that’s my favorite ride, really, but this year…the ride has been different.
I don’t know what rides you prefer, or what rides best represent what you have gone through lately, but I can tell you that the rides I’ve been on this year have not been merely Bumper Cars; and I happen to like Bumper Cars. I mean, despite the fact that you do get bounced around and jolted a lot, sometimes pretty hard, the Bumper Cars of life are nothing!
Let me tell you the rides that will really kick you hard on a level you knew existed, but just never really fathomed the depth of the terror such rides could put you through. You see, I’m not a big fan of Roller Coasters, especially those big ones like the Behemoth. I just can’t handle the lurching of my stomach when the cars are heading down from the peaks. It’s not the “terror” of the descent, but the speed with the downward pull that gets you.
Yeah, I said it. I don’t like the ride down into the valleys. Being in the valley can be hard, but in all honesty, it’s the climb back up from the valley that is the most difficult. The cars are chugging along so slowly at that point unless there is some momentum already in play. It’d be easier to stay in the valley and never climb out, but I don’t really have a problem with the climb out. I don’t want to stay in the valley. The problem for me with the Roller Coaster is the speed, and too much fluctuation.
I’ve tried the Round Up, which spins so fast you are sucked to the wall you are leaning on, and the floor drops out beneath you. I’ve had the floor drop on me…so that is nothing new. In that ride, the floor dropping is gradual. I simply relax and close my eyes so I don’t get dizzy. Its more of a spatial issue. And recovery from this sort of situation is more favorable, because despite the floor having dropped, it stays like that for a while, and then everything returns to normal. Your world stops spinning and everything comes back into focus. So this ride is not so bad.
But I have never been on the Space Shot or the Speed Pendulum rides; and I wouldn’t ever be so inclined. I’m sure most of you remember the first Marvel Avenger’s movie. These rides represent that moment in the movie when the Loki attempted to assert his authority over the Hulk. Do you remember that scene? It was the funniest part of the movie for me. The Hulk flung him about like a rag doll, slamming him into the floor several times. It was hysterical.
For me, those two rides would be similar in experience, so I don’t see myself every wanting to try them. Thus, we come to the reality of my experience in the past few months. You see, despite my efforts to be somewhat prepared, and/or insulated against such a situation; I got strapped in on the Space Shot, and experienced that rather speedy free fall. Shortly after that decent; as I stumbled dizzily away from that ride, without the time to fully recovering my bearings; I ended up on the Speed Pendulum, where I was flung from one situation into another, several times with rapid speed; having barely recovered from the first ride.
I was so shaken by all of this, that all I could do was cry and fall on the Lord like a desperate, unwanted step-child, begging for help and relief. Not to say I wasn’t praying after the disorientation of the first ride; I was, and God was answering, but with the pendulum, the swing is ok, if its at a slow speed, but when its fast…its just like Loki getting slammed by the Hulk. You really feel it; and if anyone recalls, he got a severe attitude adjustment as a result, because his tune changed after that.
I don’t think I went through the experiences of the past few months due to a similar arrogance. I just believe it was another of my growing pains. God’s trying to pull me in closer. I get that. He wants to fine tune our relationship, because He wants more commitment from me. I’ve had trust issues. He’s breaking those walls down. He’s demolishing the bricks of my expectations.
And now, He has once again demonstrated His grace in bestowing me with unmerited favor. I don’t deserve His grace, and certainly, not His unmerited favor, but He loves me, so I reap the benefits of that love. The situation I have gone through caused delays in my rent payments for the last 3 months. Remember the landlords I told you about in this post? These same landlords dismissed 3 months of late fees for me…and these guys stipulated a 5% late fee per day on the lease. Just the fact that they were willing to work with me, and did not process an eviction is miraculous, considering the past relationship as mentioned in that previous article.
God also provided a better employment offer that gives me benefits I wasn’t receiving before. But, like I said, God’s grace is more than sufficient for my needs, and He has ALWAYS got me…not just my back, but all of me. You know…I intended to write an article on this fab recipe I worked out yesterday when I was cooking, but apparently, God had other plans. My life is His to direct, and today, His intention was a testimony. I don’t mind. He’s good to me ALL the time. I have much to be thankful for.