What is the point of telling someone, “I know I’m a mess,” if you have absolutely no intention to change? Is it simply an excuse to justify the pain
or problems in your life currently, or is it to rationalize the fact that you refuse to change?
I meet very few people that are totally beyond all help. I meet plenty who think they are, but it’s just another of many excuses for laziness and a spirit of defeat. They’ve chosen to give up; chosen to do nothing about their situation or pain. Most often what I find to be prevalent is that they have chosen to remain uneducated and stupid. Why do I say this? I see it every day.
At this point in time, I utilize public transportation; not because it was a choice originally, but I choose to continue using it as an economic choice
currently. Every day while riding, I see a combination of the semi useful people, and the totally useless people. Note that I didn’t say productive. That’s because most of them aren’t. Now, this may sound judgmental…and that would be because it is.
For example, there’s a particular fat woman I used to see every day when I was going to work. She is immense. I want you to know that I myself am not a skinny girl, but I am not immense like this woman either.
She wears tent dresses (I don’t even think she can find pants to fit her); and the mindless, bland, indifferent look of someone who has completely given up, and has managed to find comfort in the idea of eating herself into oblivion.
She looks like she’s about 5’5 or 5’6 at the most, and I’m not even sure if she’s 30 years old. She gets on the bus, and sits literally taking up 2 seats; then snacks on chips and candy bars
, and falls asleep for the remainder of the bus ride.
Every time I look at her, I can’t believe this woman is so young and so seemingly oblivious and indifferent to the condition she is putting herself into. If you were to see her face, it is clear that this is not a person interested in personal growth
She just looks like she’s vegetating, idly planted in her indifference and spreading out (in her personal bulk), as if waiting for someone to come along and prune her, like a weed from the garden of life.
I was seeing a woman at my office, that is in a similar condition. I was asked to work on her to release pain from her neck that she said was very bothersome. This woman was also immense, but a taller version of it. She could not get on the table, nor could she sit on the massage chair
. I had to sit her in a regular chair and try to work the problem out of her neck that way. When she sat down, her stomach was so immense, I was reminded of Jabba the Hut
in Star Wars
As I was working on her and asking her about her injuries and lifestyle habits, she said, “I know I’m a mess.” You know why I don’t have as much of a problem with her making this statement? She’s at least 70 years old. A grandmother.
Granted, she has not maintained a healthy lifestyle or habits, but unlike the younger woman, her condition is due, in large part, to a lifetime of neglect. Is she without hope, or helpless? No, not if she chooses not to be, and makes the decision to change. Most people in her age range don’t choose to, but they aren’t beyond all hope. Anything worth fighting for takes effort.
I am recognizing the irony as I tell you about the fortune cookie from my order of Chinese food
today, which said, “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” In other words, pain is a message telling you to stop being stupid; to wake up and think!
I know what some of you think. You think your pain is unexplainable, just because no one has explained it. This doesn’t mean there isn’t an explainable cause…just that no one up to this point in time, has told you anything that really makes sense. Or, you think it was caused by your accident, which wasn’t your fault. Or, you think it just suddenly occurred for no apparent reason.
First of all, there is never just one variable, so even in the case of an accident, there is always more than the one variable or situation that causes it. In the case of a vehicular accident
, the level of impact is definitely a factor, but it is not the only factor.
Regardless, just because there seems to be no rhyme or reason for whatever has happened to you, that, in and of itself does not negate the fact that change is needed. Everything in life has a cause and effect factor. Just because your doctor either doesn’t know, or thinks it is unresolvable, does not mean that you are at a dead end without options.
Recently, a picture of Sara Jessica Parker was shown on The Wendy Show as the Hot shot of the day. In it, Sara Jessica Parker was wearing a light blue dress that was very pretty. But, you know what made that picture look horrible? Did anyone look at her feet? I found a different image to help you see it better. The top of her feet looked worse than the worst case of old age turkey neck that I’ve ever seen. Her legs look fabulous, but her feet looked 20 years older than her. Why is that?
Well when you consider that she was one of the women of the 80’s and 90’s that wore and promoted the constant style of wearing high heels, then it makes sense. Remember, she was the Sex and the City star, and portrayed a wanna-be glamour girl, desperately seeking social acceptance and love.
This is the same basic attitude I have found in some of the sillier women I’ve worked on, who refuse to give up those horrible heels and the pain they cause to the back and other body parts. The problem is that the position that high heels puts the foot in, is one of over-extension of the extensor muscles on the front of the foot and leg, and over-contraction of the flexor muscles on the bottom of the foot and calf.
So if someone were to try to Dorsiflex Sara Jessica Parker’s feet (bend the toes up towards the sky), it probably would be very painful for her, because the length of her calf muscles are too short as well as the plantar muscles on the underside or sole of her feet.
I was going to say, unless she stretches, and from the picture, it looks like she does, because her legs look great; but clearly, if she does stretch regularly, she overlooked her feet.
The point is, many people cause their own pain from stupidity, such as following popular fashion trends; and demonstrating more loyalty and care to a fashion fad than to their own bodies.
Then people wonder why they have pain. Look at all the celebrities that have fallen by the wayside based on addiction. Many of them became addicted from too much partying, but many also became addicted due to prescription pain medications.
Even as I write this, people are still trying to determine if Prince actually died from an addiction, or if it was something else. If it was indeed an addiction, Prince does seem to me to be the type of person that would not want people to know. The latest word on the matter was a possible accidental overdose of pain medication.
So there are people making choices that are causing them pain. They aren’t examining their lives, habits and thought patterns to see what might be the source. To make matters worse, because of this lack of thoughtful inquiry and self examination, they run to seek medical care, which is only symptom management at best; and never usually hones in on the actual causes.
They completely place their faith in a man with a label, and never bother to do any personal research for answers, or methods of possible treatment. Then, based on a pain condition that is first and foremost, a condition of the mind or spirit; they make decisions or rather, accept what the man with the label tells them.
They begin to attack the problem in their body via a synthesized chemical they take in either pill form or as a shot, or even worse, they do surgery. Meanwhile, the actual problem, which, outside of a direct impact injury, is usually within themselves; is never addressed.
Change is needed, and the first place to start is to spend some time utilizing more than the 10 or 20% minimum of brain power that is said to be used by mankind. Striving to be ordinary is a state of mind that will definitely result in pain. It’s time not to just think outside the box; although more outer box thinking is definitely a necessity. Its time to rise up, and step out of the box that the culture has led you into; because it is a culture of pain that not only is detrimental to your mindset; it’s detrimental to your health.